I'm chasing vodka with french fries.
UD be completely fine. you don't lose control just keep a positive environment. for example i really want to lick the wall cause red is delicious but i don't have to.
We didn't need to cut her off. I'm pretty sure the lit candle she almost drank would have done it for us
im swimming of confusion and bacardi. where do i go from herrrrrre
I demand visitation hours with the duck.
I'm trying to make a sex playlist
record yourself crying and put it on a loop.
Just made a Xanax and ginger ale smoothie. Oh Thursday you are good to me..
Drunk puking in my bathtub has plugged it up for the third time this year. I hate these calls to my landlord.
My god. His mom just smacked my ass. Does this mean I'm accepted??
Would it be sharing too much to tell you that my nipples hurt so much that I couldn't comfortably go down the stairs?
I woke up in a trash can. Please dude. I don't know what I did to you last night, but I'm sorry. Epically sorry. Please call me back. Please.
Winning pick four numbers were just 6969... if I were 18 I could've won 20,000 dollars.
Puking in the Ritz Carlton bathroom was actually kind of a nice experience
Your next boyfriend should be from MENSA...you're so smart, it's intimidating as fuck. My penis retracted in fear.
We are balling out on levels, I think mikes about to go to jail. something to do with a unicorn and rainbows, the cops are not being reasonable.
Randomize