she looked like she should be chained to micheal vicks radiator
Sorry if I ruined your sex last night with my constant text updates about the plot of Bolt.
I think I'd do Clint Eastwood.
...kinda gettin a major gay vibe from you right now.
That was a text you sent me last night.
I am sitting on the couch "eating" a frozen big bucket margarita with a spoon.
Lil wasted at a baby shower. Here's to beating teen pregnancy BOTTOMS UP
yeah we were the ones eating jello shots out of the back of a jeep in the bar parking lot
No longer allowed at circus circus apparently fuvking in the elevator is frowned upon.
I had a dream where I was about to fight you but you were dressed like a greek god and had just killed a werewolf with your bare hands
It's official. This guy and I are going gay for each other. We're tasting the fucking rainbow.
And your cousins porn shouldn't have been the first straight porn you watched. And for that I am sorry
If making out with three guys at once at a Kesha concert while simultaneously smearing glitter all over yourself doesn't convince her you're gay, nothing will
there was so much lube in my brother's closet...
Why do I have a wristband from the birthing center at the University of Maryland hospital....
He came on my face and he was genuinely concerned about getting it in my hair. I'm marrying him.
Got upgraded to First Class and now I’ve got the whole Pacific Ocean to seduce the very hot gentleman sitting next to me!!! Door closing, wish me luck!
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