oh my god I didn't know your sister was this good at french kissing
Dude I'm so glad we're not friends anymore. It would have made fucking your stepmom last night really awkward. Dickwad.
He just used my bikini trimmer to give himself a fumanchu. And I still plan on having sex with him tonight. This has to be what true love feels like.
Osama's death just kick started our Cinco de mayo celebration. Margaritas for anyone wearing red white and blue!
I'll come out for a little. I can't be visibly hungover at work again or I get written up and fired. And yes, I am aware of how alcoholic that sounds.
There's a man in a pumpkin/reaper outfit advertising a new head shop outside the Taco Bell. I love this town.
I knew it was time to stop when you guys were playing a drinking game called "every three steps take a drink"
I went back to the party but by then they were all sitting on the floor in the dark listening to we are the champions on full blast.
It sounded like he said "don't stop" but all I could hear were his balls.
I am not betting on the failure of any friend that is not you.
Here is your half hour reminder. Meet you at emergency room.
Was he good-huge or like "what the fuck do i do with this"-huge
Just remember that I named his dick Robo-cock before he got into the sheriff's department.
You're the only person I know who would go to New Jersey to give a blowjob and I have so much respect for you for it
i was making a gravity bong in my room and my dad walked in. he helped me finish. i love being home for the holidays.
Randomize
