Fantastic night. drank beer from a wine bottle, danced on a van, chased a llama, and fell from a fence
community service is like the breakfast club... except we're all the criminal.
I am sitting on my kitchen floor drunk with a bottle of jose cuervo, tryin to make cinnamon rolls and write a paper. I love college
if we break up, who will get the dealer?
Two girls I have never met just thumb wrestled to decide who gets to make out with me.
i have a wrist watched drawn on my wrist that it says shot o clock
We are going to get clementines. And shoot them out of a ballon launcher. That's after we come up to the ivy with a bullhorn and reck havoc. Where are you.
I'm just high and in my robe and I would suck a dick for some pizza rolls. I can't talk about your problems right now
I just had really awesome sex bent over the side of an air hockey table. That is all. Happy thanksgiving.
So, were they human bite marks at least?
Your guess is as good as mine.
Gays age differently than straights. 29 is like 45 in gay years. Next year I'll be in adult diapers and applying for medicaid.
I WOULD SERIOUSLY RECOMMEND THE SHIT THAT I AM ON RIGHT NOW
You're a goddess. Probably of destruction and dick jokes, or some shit, but man, lesser bitches wish they could be half as fab.
Your "whiskey dick" is glorious but also terrifying
And he put my hair in my clip while i blew him...and he did a good job
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