we better have passed that bar exam - i dont want to have to drink like this again
If you liked it then you shoulda put your dick in it, oh uh uh oh
the only reason why im excited to go home for break is to finally eat real fucking food and have normal bowel movements.
my family just sang happy birthday to baby jesus. no ones even drunk yet
I don't remember coming home but there is cereal EVERYWHERE
I'm questioning the dried chocolate syrup on my tits.
This stranger told me I should "start playing for the other team" and then continued to talk to me about the joys of being a lesbian
Slept with my first Irish dude before I even got off the plane. Dublin has no idea what I have in store for it.
PS: when I ask you if I look fat in a a dress DO NOT TAKE YOUR SWEET ASS GAY TIME to formulate an answer only to tell me in front of our family that perhaps I should buy Spanx. Do you WANT me to tell mom and dad you suck cock? Then be a good brother and have the common decency to LIEEEEEE!!!!
I heard them banging and it sounded like he was trying to stuff a fucking coconut into her
You could be a whistle.. And just ask bitches if they want to blow you all night
And also the fact that I woke up sandwiched between two gay men is probably fueling my day
Text me if something catches fire and I will put pants on
Ok. After that I think I'm going to drag queen jello wrestling if you would care to join.
i asked your drunk ass where the fuck you were going and you screamed “WENDY’S BITCH”.
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