i couldnt tell she was wearing a bumpit until she started giving me head
Covered in glitter and dick. 2010 feels a lot like 2009.
He managed to light the Jello on fire...
Well my dad thinks I wake up at 3 or 4 am every day. Really it is just all the booty calls, but I'm glad he thinks I am so motivated
My taste buds are fucked up, everything tastes like fire after last night.
No lie. I was hooking up with a former football player at UT and mid-hookup I yelled "I'M FRATERNIZING WITH THE ENEMY"
You got kicked out after 30 minutes, 3 beers and 2 shots. Group record. Also you kept rubbing his belly and calling him buddha.
we didnt plan anything. just randomly met up in the park, both reached into our pockets and each lit up a joint without exchanging words. we're telepathic potheads.
I would say I miss her friendship, then I remember that she gave 4 guys the clap. I'm good.
Girl re-adjusts bra, no one bats an eye. I re-adjust nuts, everyone stares.
Human centipede...with the teletubbies. That's what my nightmare had in it.
I don't even want to know.
"Like what guy would respond to 'let's fuck. I've got bagels'??"
Don't judge me 👊🏼 his dick just whispers my name
I could have been on my second lucrative divorce by now, but nooooo, I had to be a strong independent woman.
Yeah that stuff was rough. We insisted on wearing our bikinis all down college ave, and at several parties that were not beach themed
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