i met him on craigslist. and no i'm not a hooker.
What's proper 1 nite stand etiquette?
Say hi to his dad and make him some breakfast.
Dude I think you forgot how to talk last night. We kept asking if you wanted a condom and you just smiled and made weird noises...
This exeeds the amount of high I planned on being.
Well we didn't hook up. Maybe from his girlfriend's point of view, but not mine.
Can you please tell him to stop calling me ma'am? I'm starting to remember what it's like to have self respect
is there a way to sugar-coat "shes in jail" when someone is texting me asking where their friend is?
Also, the greatest of ironies: I got shampoo confiscated by security while Corey managed to get pot through. MERICA!
I got a blow torch for Christmas. You are now permitted to be afraid.
i came outside and he was eating her out on my lawn. i refuse to pick up the dog shit in my yard so i hope he chose the spot wisely
If someone told me one person in the department was secretly a death eater, I would suspect her, no contest.
I was told I look like trouble once and that was by a fireman at the sex show. I was carrying two beers and a penis pinata.
i'm at work, alone, drinking a spiced chai & fireball hot toddy. holiday OT isn't that bad after all.
i think i left you like a 5 minute message about the mcchicken burger i was eating. I think I called wanting sex but the mcchicken burger was a lot more seducing.
I kicked down a wall in rage and found a door behind the drywall. Once again vandalism solves all my problems.
Randomize
