the line for where the wild things are looks like radiohead had sex with an urban outfitters
well i just set every background of each phone in the verizon store to my face
According to last night if you on the sidewalk at 12 a|m\nYour a WHORE !
i can barely draw a stick figure let alone shave a heart into my pubes
Dude that musta been some handjob last night. The sound of her pandora bracelet kept waking me up
She took the bride and groom figures and the top layer of their cake and tried to walk out of the reception with it in her purse.
I keep replaying commercials about kittens frolicking and was crying nonstop. WILL MY PERIOD LAST FOREVER!?
Dont care what i do tnt just as long as i get to chug a beer in somebodys face
Let's just say I've never been so continually aware of my nipples before.
Don't I can pass these orgasm blushes off as sunburn for much longer...
When we got home I apparently addressed everyone as 'peasant' since it was my birthday, this followed by me demanding for my "peasants to wash me".
You just want to live out all your fuck fantasies with all these girls through me. I know your game. Well played sir.
Nothing says "happy birthday" like a negative pregnancy test
That jawline could fucking have its way with me.
I peed outside 4 times after the bar, safe to say I had great night
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