I just wasted my iTunes Gift Card on a season pass for Hannah Montana. Bad decision?
i knew it was going to be a good night when i was bleeding, licked it and it tasted like miller light
I think I just found part of a tooth on my bed... What goes on in here?
That girl next to you randomly said that she fits into a queen sized pillow case
WTF.
Oh god our sink is a cavalcade of horrors. Brb sacrificing a goat and putting everything in the dishwasher forever
No! Last time I got hit with a beer bottle
Haha, Tuesday man
I dunno I mean I feel like I owe everyone an apology except the two people I punched in the face
Netflix, eggnog, and bed? Maybe some hand stuff?
We're at an agreement where I don't pry and she pretends blissful ignorance
sarahs drunk and is drawing dinosaurs all over the apartment. should i stop her?
whats she drawing them with?
eyeliner
no that's ok
I was told I was gorgeous and a whore by the drag queens. My night is complete.
Your vagina is awesome, like it needs to teach a class for other vaginas
The people at Perkins seem so judgemental. Big deal if i'm handcuffed to stripper in a star-n-stripes bikini. We still gotta eat.
I am really drunk and also a zombie.
it was like 6 shots in and he was automatically my type
Randomize
