he just kept repeating that I have nice areolas
dude i've broken up a marriage, I think I can handle a simple engagement.
if he wont fuck me on the stairamster then i dont think theres much XXX shit going down
So at what point do I tell her that I like fucking these hot southern girls more than I like my relationship with her?
I've only been home four days and my parents' cleaning lady already wrote down the number to AA and told me she's praying for me.
My bed is full of blood and feathers
I've reached the gravitational age where it's very hard to get my face and my boobs in the same shot without some kind of yoga involved .
My life is sponsored by tidy cat kitty litter, Bacardi rum, and plan b.
Woke up in a bathtub with both of my legs broken. How was your night?
I think you are severely overestimating being able to get your lingerie back by posting the lyrics of Irreplaceable
UPS just delivered me 30lbs of dried cherries... I shouldn't be allowed online when I take painkillers.
I'm on my third roll of toilet paper. Today can fuck right off.
its hard to say precisely how it happened, but the next thing i knew i was on top of a mountain
Her blowjob technique? Picture someone attempting to drink a triple thick milkshake through a Capri Sun straw.
Dear god my vagina.
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