is it wrong that i woudl like to tie u down to the baby changing station using the straps provided?
sometimes i wish i was the girl in a porno. that way if i couldn't get any, i'd just order a pizza and do him.
and he said i stripped him down, hand cuffed him to his bed post, and tickled his arm pits, and then continued to watch The Hangover.
You screamed at all of us and then showed us your sack. You're like the boyfriend of my dreams.
Why do they give me cups on $8 pitcher night? I HAVE A PITCHER.
For someone only wearing socks and a cast, I felt reallyy overdressed
Just turned down sex because it's a holy day of obligation, my mom would be proud.
Btw. Being a stripper for a week without anyone knowing to pay off my school loan is no longer in my agenda.
Damn, well, it could always be worse
For sure, I could be a prison bitch right now. Thursdays aren't half bad
He said I could stop sending ass pics now and just say hello. I'm not sure if that means he's no longer interested, or that he's a gentleman??
I like to be the stable force in your otherwise chaotic existence.
You would be proud of me, I did not take a dab at work today.
Met a beautiful Irishman two nights in a row. I may never come back.
I swear we were drugged last night
We had a 130$ tab bitch. We drugged ourselves.
He wants to play improv games now whenever he gets drunk. Sometimes I just do not have the energy for that kind of a thing
Randomize
