I sent him a picture of my touching myself. He responded back "Your nails look really nice"
We had like 4 guys come over and buy us all drinks as an excuse to hit on Kendra. Hanging out with her is now officially fiscally responsible.
i'm using a wine bottle as a spitter. how classy is that.
They asked if I was about to puke and my response was to laugh and suddenly throw up. Continuing my asshole streak I kept laughing while still vomiting.
Call me when you get off. I have stories about black lesbians in jail begging to braid my hair...
Hope you don't mind if I never tell my family about you.
I just went through the Wendy's drive thru only wearing a towel. My life has hit an all time low
I think curling is the best thing to watch when you're baked.
I love this text stream: discussing the development of a business model centered around cooking acid to bankroll a yacht trip in Croatia
the worst fight me and my gf ever had was over Guy fieri
I just set up a proportion to calculate how much Jolly Rancher vodka I can make with the limited amount of Jolly Ranchers I have. Finally, real-life application of math.
Once the overwhelming "oh god my crotch is on fire" wears off, that excite stuff is really nice
Finally get to put my practical writing degree to use! I'm writing a craigslist ad for a threesome
Bro i just made a pipe out of a mechanical pencil and the top to an eye drop bottle. Does that make me some kind of pot god?
But I think I successfully seduced her with my alias.
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