Will you Wikipedia Vin Diesel? Is he gay? It's important...
I got "discovered a new religion high" last night
did that guy on the oscars really just tell me to text a dolphin?
You said you were going to take the sideview mirror to your own car so that nobody would steal it. Thats why you woke up with it.
Threesome in a minivan. New low
Sneezing blood is a good thing right? Medically speaking.
Oh no, we smoked the revival weed. It came in a Batman bag. It hit like justice. And orphans.
Can we just talk about how the only thing I have on my camera from this weekend is a video of you putting your whole fist in your mouth hahahha
I couldn't find a lighter, so I smoked a bowl with a birthday candle.
Have you ever just sat there and thought about past penises?
Well that was the first and last time I've had to write "divorce party" on a request time off form. I'm throwing it for my mom. What is my life turning into.
5% want to drink juice and feel better, 95% just want to touch your butt
Just paid for birth control in all ones do you think she is judging me?
I think I'll shower sitting down. That seems safe.
I woke up alone, naked in her bed staring at a lifesize poster of edward cullen,actually I'm lying I did have socks on
Randomize
