Done. Eyebrows are waxed, entire body shaved
Leaving terminator. dude in front of us leaving was wearing a baggy micael vick jersey, cargo shorts and brown crocs. God I hate people.
you kept spraying the cat with water and then telling it to "man up" when it cried
woke up next to her writing my name in some journal. apparently she makes every guy she hooks up with sign out.
it looked like a condom graveyard when i woke up. they were everywhere
This chick just checked into her walk of shame on Foursquare... I think I'm in love.
just dropped my bong into 7 pieces, and carried the glass shards around my house. dad saw the blood dripping down my arms, and asked if i slit my wrists. way too high to laugh at this.
just did awkward shuffle by the bagels in the dining hall at 7:30 AM with a kid i've hooked up with. goodbye freshman year.
All i remember before i blacked out is you pointing to a random chick and telling me to bang her for America.
The good news is that I can 100% reassure you that you did not get knocked up by some creepy Italian dude named Sal Manella last night.
The bad news is that you will never know the name of the guy who may have gotten you pregnant last night because he clearly gave you a fake name, sweetie.
He said I could pay him back in blow jobs. What's the going rate for those these days?
When my parents ask if I met any nice guys in California, I'm going to answer, "No, but I have gone home with alot of nice girls". Too much, too soon?
I mean I'm not saying I have my life together but I did just put nerds in a bottle of champagne and then drank from the bottle
I'm 99% sure I just flashed my dad with my vagina. So that's the new low now.
Used my power pack to charge my vibrator so I didn't have to unplug my switch or my galaxy lamp. TECHNOLOGY!
Randomize
