i'm in the sorta mood where i wanna be that crying, drunk girl who will hook up with anyone that tells her she's pretty
my ultimate dream in life is to have sperm so powerful that it will rival that of jim bob duggar.
so...dinner was kid's cuisine and a bottle of wine. i think they go well together.
She transformed our coors light pitcher we stole from the bar into a fruit basket...
at which point I apparently ran in and shouted "I made the sex with that one!"
I wasnt that drunk. Throwing the table off the third story was totally logical.
I was fucking the girl and her best friend walked in on us. She said we looked thirsty, got us a glass of water, and poured it down both of our throats. It was like... sex bottle service
You should really trust me on this one. "hit it and quit it" might not be the best career move on your part...
my vagradar is going off.. it smells a soldier
Is it wrong that the only reason I'd want Savannah in my wedding party is to watch her whore around and drink?
Btw, remind me to tell you about how I had to cancel my crazy wild sex plans with Will b/c my roommate came back from his trip after a day b/c Canada wouldn't let him in. Fucking cockblock.
Actually that's the whole story. You don't have to remind me.
I'm not asking for life coaching, I'm just asking if you know where I left my underpants.
i feel like a cleansing fire is the only way to purify the house
He named his newborn baby after a character in the Hobbit and that is literally keeping me up at night.
Knew i was going to puke. So i grabed a bowl out of the kitcken in the dark before bed...Ended up puking into a spaghetti strainer...
Randomize
