I just saw Ann slam dunk her puke bag into a trash can on Avenue A. You ladies might want to consider putting the Patron shots down and going home.
Every now and then I'll talk to a creeper for an extended amount of time. Randy, for instance, funded our entire night of horrible decisions.
Do you think he woke up this morning, looked at you, and then regretted everything?
She's singing So Happy Together to her burrito, I want to be on her level.
Do you have any booze?
Well I have 60 feet of bubble wrap and a bottle of wine...but I'm saving that for a special girl...
In my opinion the party was fun, but i did A LOT of cocaine so my view was a little distorted......
Good, I would never sleep with your boyfriend , or send you an edible arangment
You were making out w/ur brothers coach against a door when someone opened it and you both fell through... Then you continued to make out on the ground
When the hubs wants to wear his training mask during sex and pretend to be Bane you just go with it.
I just twinged a muscle in my shoulder trying to hug myself. In the world of loneliness-based injuries, this is a new low for me.
YO. MCGRIDDLES.
I will consider today a failure if my nipple isn't bitten at least 😂
Oh is THAT how we're gonna play mini golf
I will not abuse the gift that was given to me
You were given a vagina and you abuse that pretty hard
The only food I have to eat is weed gummies and magic mushrooms... This is peak 34
I just bought two 8 Balls of Coke from the chick nurse that stitched my leg together in the ER after my bike accident last summer.
Randomize
