Is it bad to mix sunny d with vodka if i dont have any real OJ?
I've mixd ketchup with vodka before and called it a bloody mary, so, no.
I want to have your abortion
So.. my mom just told me she hasn't gotten laid in 7 years... I'm really disturbed.. at the same time... At least now I know why shes so damn cranky all the damn time
Please don't tell me you're asking me to have sex with your mother.
so I was thinking like, Rob Pattinson could make so much money whoring himself out dressed as Edward Cullen.
yeah, I mean if he's down to fuck a lot of fat chicks and stare at Tiger Beat posters of himself above the bed...
Why did I wake up this morning with 10 tally marks on my hand and a penis drawn on my tits?
Umm I need a rain check. Long story short is I have scabies. Research it if you want. I'll tell you everything another time soon, I promise.
He's Hawaiian. Thank god it wasnt a real American
Do you think blood ever gets sick of carrying all these drugs around?
Like, there are so many different things we make it do, and it just wants to settle down and be a one-drug fluid?
Stop reading WebMD high.
Its a cash in stratch tickets to afford cigarettes and coffee kind of friday
DON'T PUKE iN THE PRINGLES CAN, WHATEVER YOU DO!
oh btw ur so lucky i got stoned and passed out or we sooo would have bedazzled your dick while you slept. just sayin.
Hi please disregard the last text and if you'd like our entire interaction
Done
just got permission to expense a nerf gun
I mean. I'm excited for the Seahawks too. I just love nachos.
I want to bone him until his eyes fall out
Randomize
