dinner at cheesecake factory: $40. drinks at yard house: $50. having sex in the VG parking lot while people are staring at you awkwardly: priceless. Goodnight.
i can totally tell he's high. he's having a conversation with my dog.
New low. Found an ant nibbling on my last xanax. Flicked it away and popped it in my mouth anyways.
I might not be able to enter cuba but that doesn't mean that a cuban can't enter me
I hit her tiny dog with a horseshoe an hour ago. Her and her mom cried as it laid on the ground shaking. Im drunk.
I feel like I had eight dicks in my mouth
Imagine the time you most wanted to kill yourself. Now add a room full of jail bait and no booze. Multiply that by a million.
We are getting high tomorrow and being statues at the cafeteria. Come find us.
Caleb has a beard comb now. Also I have a pube comb now too. May or may not be related incidents
I creeped him on fb. I'm about 90% sure I just blew him in the same tux he wore for his wedding..
The fact that me being able to walk down stairs is an accomplishment in my books pretty much explains how I am
Well. I hope my dad likes whatever sweater stoned me picks out.
Some dude just said my hair smells like his pillows
my nose is crying tears of wow.
I mean she did throw a tantrum because you wouldn't let her suck your dick
Randomize
