Without porn, I would have few hobbies.
I was just about to go down on her when she gave herself a "smell check" and said "no, not today".
I didn't sleep with her. I'm boycotting arizona and she's from phoenix.
we literally hit three floors of our apartment building searching for condoms. also got macaroni.
It's 5:30am in Vegas and I'm eating McDondalds next to crying prostitutes.....low point.
They got their marriage license when they were at the courthouse for her arraignment.
I only put bad things in my body...jack, caffeine, chocolate, pills, and rich's cock. It's like being holistic but exactly opposite
Yeah but I get laid and I know. He drank toilet water last night and he doesn't know about that either. Still makes me happy though.
It was like inception, a dream, in a dream, in the back of a dodge charger.
These fuzzy pants work great for sleeping, taking an exam, getting baked and watching the hobbit. I guess i'm not changing pants for 72 hours.
Well after the shots I danced with a homeless guy, split my toe on broken glass, and had a 20 piece mcnugget. Who says postgrad life is boring.
In all fairness that 65 year old man looked 23 in club lighting so you can fuck right off
It's okay to masturbate while watching the Comey testimony right?
He fucked me for my Netflix login, I fucked him for his HBO login, and actually I think that's beautiful
Idk if you've ever tried hysterically crying in the shower listening to Florence + The Machine but it's honestly a life-affirming experience
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