I got drunk at the beach today. I got the word Badass! tatooed all the way across my foot. Probably a bad idea.
Her cum face looks like the large marge scene in pee-wees big adventure
there's got to be a less slutty way to tell him the baby isn't his
i just declared my major based on how close the department building was to our apartment. laziness has been brought to a new level
Nothing says walk of shame better than a onesie and a 12 pack of corona..
If I take diet pills with my edibles I'll be a perfect person
There is not greater feeling than lying to your boss and leaving work to shit in the comfort of your own home
if I was any more soft right now, my penis would be a liquid
Dude, all I know is that I came out of this thing wearing a snorkel mask and completely covered in glitter and soap.
I was thinking that, but I'm not sure the proper etiquette on asking about someone's nipple rings. Even if you did see them and compliment them once.
i don't remember going ever taking off my pants but my pubes are shaved into a K and kelsey is passed out in the shower.
I don't remember much and some girl almost convinced me to jump off the bridge while she held my stuff...
whoever decided snowing in 90 percent of campus on a night when the streets are flowing with tequila and skittles was clearly not an R.A.
we thought it would be safer to lock you in the car alone downtown than take you back home to pass out
I'm drinking because I just started here and every single person I work with wants to quit and when I asked a coworker how she's doing she literally just started crying.
Randomize
