Do you know a sam ****, im at the bar right now and lookin for some dirt on her to guilt trip her in to sex
It's 9:30am and I've already blown three loads. Reason #101 I love 25 year old girls.
I hope your lack of response means you're banging, not talking about her purity ring.
I woke up in solitary confinement, wheb they moved me the guy that sold me the pill of Molly at the concert was in the police waiting room, we nodded to each other.
You know you're a whore when you color code your calendar with who you slept with on what day incase you have ANOTHER pregnancy scare
I've used my house key more to do bumps of coke than I've used it to get in my house.
It's a lost cause. Soon she's gonna get naked, just let nature run its course
I hope you enjoy this collage I made of you and me getting fucked up together
Just because he told you it was safe doesn't mean you should have licked it.
He was respectful of both me and my One Direction calendar.
Doesn't matter if you work at a funeral home. If the boss says get a keg, you get a keg.
Anyone who does not consider cereal and wine as a balanced breakfast needs to leave immediately.
Its only once in a life time you get to pick your vcard swiper up from jail
My vibrator turned on under my pillow when I was taking a nap this morning... I nearly shit my pants.
Rule number 1 of dorm living: do not forget your butt plug in the bathroom.
Randomize
