OMG Im so trashed fishy! im sitting hereon my bed wif mcdonalds n i look like david hasselhoff!!!!!! kill me now
Apparently mediocre decisions were made last night. I woke up alone in my own bed with my fridge defrosted.
And I didn't go to bed alone. I am buckets of fail.
I'm at a party with that guy you made out with on new years. He remembers your name!
so far i wrote 500 words for a paper on sean paul performing we be burnin..i can officially do anything on adderral
You were so trashed that when you dropped your fruit rollup on the floor, you just sat next to it and cried.
Who was that guy you went home with?
Hang on, I'm trying to ask his name right now.
he squeezed my boobs like he didn't know what else to do with them, then turned down head...
told you he was gay.
If we don't get kicked out of this hotel tonight for fucking too loud we're breaking up
Also I think he would slowly, painfully, die. You really can't live without a penis. You'd explode.
At my place... I'm gonna be honest though stonewall Jackson is not going to be able to rally the troops. Too many shots of tequila
I woke up without my clothes on covered up with a towel on the floor because for some reason I took a bath in my clothes at 2am.
u kept repeating to itself "hot cheetos and nacho cheese sauce.."
Well, I woke up on a roll-away, with a knot in the back of my head and penis confetti stuck to me. Also, I apparently literally gave the shirt off my back right before I passed out, so I was topless. Vegas won this trip.
My disapointment is making my balls hurt :(
the gnome is staring at me and the pineapple is wearing shorts. I don't want to do this anymore.
Randomize
