remember them days when you seriously wanted your mom to marry rev run and we would always talk shit about justine?
joeyyyy why you always taken cheeseburgers from me?!?!?!
Come on the kid is gayer than me
Like the straightest thing he could do right now is take it up the butt
You litterally reached into some girls shirt, pulled out her tit and yelled whats up with this guy.
I wonder how many times I can be hungover in one day
I just threw up and a whole piece of spaghetti came out of my nose. I don't even remember eating spaghetti.
Its like a 4.5 hour drive but there's drinking involved so I'm destined to go
Finished drinking tea out of a red party cup when I was done I flipped it without even thinking
You can come over, sure. But I'll be watching college hockey during the blow job.
I started singing the national anthem on a train in London. Happy 4th of July assholes
Dude if our hands were ladels we could work at a soup kitchen
That would be so convenient
What's standard gratutity for someone having a miscarriage on stage at a strip club? It's important.
Just got a nosebleed, my period and the runs all at the same time. I'm either dying, or this is the first sign of the apocalypse. You warning you in case it's the latter.
Found my other fake eyelash. In a condom wrapper...
He's a fucking asshole. Who gives good head. And seriously I have never seen someone less committed to hair color
Sorry for throwing up in your humidifier last night, I thought it was some sort of electrical garbage can
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