nothing tight i'm going to stuff myself with food and alchy
Dude, Her having kids just means she puts out.
Is masturbating to pics of your ex on Facebook considered cheating?
You are proof that most things are best left unsaid.
this may or may not be the weed talking, but this is by far the best tasting toothpaste i've ever had
Just heard the new 'We are the world' ... Can I get my 10 bucks for Haiti back?
Do you remember that blonde girl he brought home from the bar on Friday night? She didn't leave until Monday afternoon. We didn't even know she was still in his room...what a sketchy weekend.
He sent me $300 worth of sex toys. My clitoris went into hiding after two days.
If you listen closely you can hear the sound of inbreeding and shame.
You'd be surprised at the stuff my vagina tells my brain to say
The DJ was throwing glowsticks into the crowd and managed to smack one guy in the face with them
Seriously considering modifying my computer case so it can dispense wine. I need to make a bunch of changes and reorganize it's guts anyway....
We had sex while watching the republican debate. I'm not sure how he maintained an erection watching Donald Trump speak.
So you think Jesus would be proud of me for walking of shame into my apartment 10 minutes before I told my parents I'd be over for Easter?
I hear my roommate snoring and I feel bad for his girlfriend but then I hear them having sex and I guess it all works out in the end.
Just went to jump into bed... Completely missed the bed.
Randomize