This is one of those situations that make me think to myself "what life decision did I make to get here"
The cop refused to sing with us, even though he was as happy as we were that the tow truck finally showed up.
Thanks for alerting everyone in our apartment what your one night stand's name is. Could you scream a little louder?
All of the sudden your world had become nothing but the sum of visible dicks. Welcome to life.
You pissed off the back deck while listening to the national anthem from your phone screaming America Fuck Yea to my neighbors
All I know is that every time I looked at my glass it was full again and I thought it would be rude not to drink it
this is a preemptive text before you call me freaking out: i have your keys and your car is parked safely a block down from your apartment.
you are a goddess
You tried crawling through the apartment window instead of going through the wide open door next to it
Last night when I blacked out, I ate Chef Boyardee. I never want to be that drunk ever, ever again.
its not even a love triangle. its a love square and it has come back to haunt me
I was just dry heaving outside of the Chem building when a guided tour walked by. Welcome to the Maritimes kids...
If my vagina was a person it would have a bandage around its head and it's arm in a sling rn
I don’t have the time, patience, or blood alcohol level to deal with her.
There's just something classy about smoking a blunt in a prom dress.
We left an ass print on the conference room table, but I don’t think anyone caught on
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