i found your underwear in my bra... i dont even remember how this happened.
shit. all i remember is the look on your moms face.
He thinks MY vagina is tight. That's saying something.
i had to pay fifty dollars for throwing up in the limo, 60 fucking dollars to throw up all over myself
i will replace your cream cheese. there's enough for breakfast. you are my friend. i had guests we wanted bagels so bad im sorry. i left you notes. i love you. you have enough for a bagel or two and i will get you more. you are so pretty.
i just like, need to vent to someone
Can we skip the part where I pretend to care and fast forward to the appreciative blowjob from you?
Wouldn't it be fantastic if the corporate world cared less about about our GPA and focused more on our mastery of social drunkenness?
This costume is too restrictive. The priest and I cannot get it on while I am wearing it.
thanks for piggy backing me around for the rest of the night when I got too drunk to stand.
I am pretty sure I just put SoCo in the bird feeder
Sex followed by chicken and waffles... Hands down my favorite morning plans. Count me in.
WHAT A DUMBASS ugh I'm so glad he looks like a middle aged dad now
At least your vagina gets to vagina again. Dust that thing off.
Keep two things coming: nudes and puppy pictures
You're lucky I'm holding your vagina in my best interests
I Never thought my late 30s would end up with me getting eaten out on a desk in the managers office of a lululemon, but I guess being a franchise owner has its perks!
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