Dude. I haven't taken a shit in a week.
Try anal, it works wonders.
By the way the awkward moment from yesterday is now a bad situation I have to figure out.
Thank you Grey Goose.
I wish sober me loved running as much as drunk me...
I don't know what happened last night but I woke up this morning with "wolf pack" tattooed on my knuckles.
I'm doing laundry in pjs and heels, home alone with my margarita bucket.
Everytime I know she spent a lot of time on her hair for one of our dates, I intentionally cum on the top of her head. That's how she knows I pay attention.
Well, it's either jungle juice or memory of the night... It's unfortunate I can't have both
Like some sort of pot growing robin hood.
She wants to fuck me. On a tennis court. In her tennis outfit. Is ring-shopping an acceptable 3rd date activity?
Wonderful brian is stoned out of his mind, floating in a lawn chair in the hot tub eating a giant plate of macaroni and staring at the moon
She said our goal is to fuck in every bathroom at the reception which is at a country club. I will have the best wedding date ever! Were 4 for 4 in public.
Nothing like waking up naked and alone on your floor to remind you that you make life mistakes often.
I made him dress me after we fucked. He put me in TMNT pants and then told me I looked hot.
I think I ejaculated my soul out.
He got me to hold his phone, wallet, keys and pants while he hooked up with another girl.
Randomize
