Let's bang like we're on a Lifetime Channel movie.
He had one of those small greek statue penises
ive never been actively dumping during the pledge of allegiance before today...
It's only slutty when someone else does it. It's okay if it's us though
well what she called a "work function" most people call "doing shots with your boss while people throw napkins at you."
we made it to hole 3 and then just sat down on the fairway and finished off our case....cheered on other golfers as we let them play through.
I'm making myself a nametag with my contact info and pinning it to myself like a kindergardenter in case I get lost when I black out on Sat.
Can we laminate it? Just to be safe.
BTW waking up to a picture of you taking a shot of what I can only assume was shitty lukewarm liquor out of a blow up dolls butt made my day
I kept calling him escargot instead of Estaban..I don't think that was the wisest choice.
I will always make you feel special and slightly offended. That's my job.
HE TRIED TO HIT ME WITH A CHAIR. Stoned video games are NOT happening again
His cat must have been laying on his dick, because now my face is covered in hives
Naw man, if he's crazy enough to jerk off on a public bus he's too crazy for me to fuck with
I need an IV, a new head, and stronger morals.
I know you saw me get knocked out after I stepped on that rake why did you leave me there
Randomize
