We're exchanging pot brownie recipes in my substance abuse class. This is going to be an awesome 7 weeks.
I had to have the lights off to hide my face. I was laughing so hard I almost peed in her mouth
I look at sleeping with him as a way to get up in the world. He will lead me on to bigger and better penises.
Most sexually ambiguous night of my life. Kept switching from the NBA finals to the Tonys.
Oh, I'm just lighting tennis balls and WD-40 on fire, what are YOUUU doing?!
Half of elefante. Gelafin galaxy
Should I feel guilty that my husband is cheating on his girlfriend with me? I mean, we're not divorced yet so I still have dibs, right?
The picture that pops up when I call her phone is a picture of my nipple. Just so you're forewarned.
You drunkenly hook up with 5 people in one night and suddenly everyone tries to party with you.
hahaha every time i hear a motorcycle i think about that one time you almost died
Thanks for the flashbacks you prick.
I don't even remember what he looks like. All I know is he's 6 foot 100. I like that.
in other news i got caramel vodka poured on me. upside, i smell amazing
Did I, at any point last night, say I was dying?
I was not drunk enough for that final.
Just saw a hotel with a bunch of mattresses in the parking lot. Made me think of you.
Randomize
