I think your mom looks like a breed of donkey and elephant, but her boobs are perfect
Just passed an anti-circumcision dude with a sign. Handing-out-bibles guy has been officially one-upped.
Ironically her ferret's toys look like her sex toys.....this is a whole new level of kinky for me
She better not be too drunk to operate a blowtorch
Just found a "how to get laid" book on the dresser and am now a victim of method number 16 corollary 7.
he just made me youtube cheetahs running and he thinks he is in a pool
I have now hooked up with 8 of the Apostles. I have no idea where I'm going to find a guy named Bartholomew.
I had no where to run... The dumpster sounded like a good idea at the time
i woke up the next morning in a pool of blood in my bathroom and a pinata donkeys head in my bed
so much for an anticlimactic 22nd birthday
You're welcome to join, but just to warn you, tequila makes my clothes disappear. And I'm telling you that as an adult to an adult, not as your supervising teacher who decides whether or not you graduate.
Poking every semi-decent guy on Facebook in the hopes that one of them will want to hook up with me tonight. So far all i've accomplished is 5 new poke wars which i will most certainly continue after this weekend.
Nothing says besties like laying naked in bed hungover arguing over who is getting the pants
Slept at my ex's best friends house while my ex was locked out and I walked by him sleeping in his car this am
He was gunna drive a half hour for a makeout sesh. Time to take the diapers off and learn about the wonders of the penis, dude
My grandma just invited me to gate crash a funeral for the free food. Priorities.
Randomize
