genius idea. im gonna paint my penis green like the serpent of sex
hey can i play with your boom stick tonite? I'll let you shoot the love of jesus in my face.
come over
i just bought weed at the top of a mountain, best decision of our lives to go to school in colorado.
Leaving the dealer's house. He just gave me a sincere hug and said good luck. This cant end well.
My doctor literally wrote on the script NO SEX
I Know I'm the drunk girl in the trunk right now, BUT PLEASE LISTEN TO ME!
Dude. I have so much pot that i only worry about running out of lighters
Brilliant thought; pill pong.
What could go wrong?
bro, your right, i shouldn't feel embarrassed about taking shots from a penis-shaped ice sculpture
He showed up at my door at 3 AM wearing a Santa hat with a tiara attached.
I can't tell if my bong is gender-neutral or not
Officially crunch time. It's my last year of grad school and I've yet to get blown in a school library. The parking garage was less than a block away though.
Well I woke up at my house so that's a plus. But I'm pretty sure I peed on my sofa because I woke up in the pee position.
I told him the only reason I'd sleep with him is if we have a threesome because I'll need moral support
So we were in bed when his brother walks in, walks over to me, fist bumps me and says he just wanted to say hi, then leaves...so random lmao
Randomize
