quick I need to know all the foods that the very hungry caterpillar ate
we found you in the closet, clutching coats that werent yours for stability
That chick needs a catscan. And fuck it, we're still ordering in a stripper
and somewhere between crying in her arms and throwing up in her front yard, we became friends.
I remember having the weirdest thoughts and thinking our room was a compass and we were in the compass or something.
Final Summary: could he eat a lit sparkler? Probably. Could he do it while peeing off the roof? I'll tell you when you get to the ER.
A sexy devil squat down and peed in front of Tom Hanks from Castaway.
IM NOT TALKING TO YOU UNTIL YOU MAKE A PROCLAMATION YOU LOVE ME MORE THAN TACOS
Packing for college has become a game of where did I hide my sex toys.
Let's drink tonight I promise I'll make it out of the house
Um, It's tempting but I'm not into coke or farmers.
I’m ready to be reckless and make stupid decisions, and I need you to support me in that.
i woke up on the third floor, naked in a closet.
my face feels like mints and my body feels like tingles
I miss the pre Covid days when we could meet men in bars. Hitting on guys in the grocery store is just depressing
Randomize
