Hey, what are you up to?
Drinking wine with the guys and watching 7 Pounds.
Looking back I guess I could have changed that to beer and Die Hard.
Then he told me he was 40. I'm not sure if I have enough Daddy issues to go for it
dressing as green man for st patrick's day = free drinks all night long
Ya know, I lied. I wouldn't mess with him. Not because of the crazy/rehab issues... but because he wears tank-tops.
Did he make you just lay your head next to his cock and talk to it again?
I think my sister is getting tired of me breaking into her house so I can sleep with random girls when shes not there
Did the game of beer pong go wrong before or after the cops and fire department showed up?
I'm laying in bed with a case of beer,.. That's how this break up is going..
I can't drink with the moms anymore. All they talk about is lactating.
I told the DJ last night to play Third Eye Blind before 1:45 and just pointed at him as I walked away. He didn't do it and at 1:45 I just walked out pointing at him, without my friends
I have my vibrator between my thighs and I'm listening to high school musical. That kind of high. We're all in this together.
My glasses were in the garbage this morning
Is there one of me peeing? If so do I look bangable in it
Ethically, this is the worst thing I've ever done. Financially, however...
I’m going to Lewinsky this place
That makes no sense, but it sounds terrifying
Randomize
