I was so drunk last night, I had to Wikipedia what i did.
Last night i was gna tell u about how i was watching project runway & how i was upset bc they replaced tim gunn & heidi klum. but then i realized that i was watching mythbusters.
True life - we need to smoke together more often
I find it ironic that im starting my birth control on mothers day.
Got blown by one of the bridesmaids. Family BBQ today. They all know. Talk about awkward.
Two words. Shotgunning Cognac.
This has already gotten way out of hand
They seemed upset when they walked out and saw a penis in a mouth
Need. Hospital. Physically am floating.
You always have that cute deer in the headlights look. Thats what made showing you my penis for the first time so disconcerting.
I mean, yeah, she was cheating on me but I've been fucking her brother. My secret relationship trumps her secret relationship.
I can't go to class, I have all this weed to sell
I think he knows I took a picture of him. Why I don't get punched in the face more often is anyone's guess.
I lost a fight last night. By that I mean I head butt the bar and busted my lip open.
I've finally done it. I finally achieved my lifelong goal of becoming that awkward lesbian in high school who went on to have sex with more women than any of her male classmates.
On a side note. I slept with a stuffed giraffe last night. Found it in my bed when I came home and snuggled with it. Drunk me reverted to being 2
I threw up soo much that I started crying. Then his grandma randomly came in and started rubbing my back...
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