she cant drink. allergic to alcohol.
ewwww. she might as well have a dick.
i think my mom watched the whole time
I didnt attack him, I heard I threw a chair at him- big difference. And you know Im not a creep so whatever
Jake was my 1st thought but I seriously thought u already did him... & then there's the getting the clap story... so I settled on Ben for my guess.
I have done Jake, not Ben. But this was fresh meat. And P.S. it was ghonnerea.
Ahh, yes. It's apparently too early in the morning to keep your partners and their std's straight.
to be honest..when i was little i used to think sharks can swim out of drains and eat people
and in the morning, while we were eating breakfast, she was all " i think someone sneezed into my shirt..." she'll never know.
it was like fucking gandolphs beard
I was going to text him and apologize but I didn't want him to think that meant I approved of him being my niece's booty call.
we need to find an occasion to wear tutus
I couldn't help thinking that my sock monkey was judging me
It's totally ok to sleep with him. The only place I have feelings for him is in my vagina.
He's pretty cool once you ignore the fact that he's trying to get into your pants
I'm storing dick pics, so basically if I'm still single after residency...ur gonna get bombarded. It's gonna be a blizzard of dicks.
Feel free to keep your blizzard of dicks to yourself.
Do you think telling guys I'm majoring in magic is a good pickup line?
Why did I wake up covered in glitter next to a half eaten cheeseburger?
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