I heard we made out
I puked off the balcony.
Not horrible
Into the hottub. There were six people in it. I had eaten all their pizza.
I just wnated to let you know that I laminated my history notes so i can study in the shower.
Yep just saw a license plate that read "taint 2" which implies there is a "taint 1". Only in Florida
my life is in even more shambles than last time, mcdonalds is closed
I wish I had a frozen water bed.
best. idea. ever.
I don't want to talk about it but I will say, that was the best two headed $68 blowjob. Ever.
Guy in our group took down a chick in a wheelchair last night.
I really just want to stuff him in my purse, take him home, feed him pudding or applesauce and brush his hair. That's not creepy, right?
Only thing worse than going to work with a hangover is going to work with a hangover then realizing that u don't have to work that day
I feel I must have sex with him first to fully decide where my vagina belongs.
Not many people can say they've been photo bombed by an antelope. I sure did.
When he breaks your heart after he reveals he's gay, I'll be there for you. -Love, Dad
I am so horny that I an legitimately concerned for your safety when I see you tonight.
Your english degree would kill itself if it could read that text.
maybe a couloe typos.. noooooooooo big deal
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