Done. Eyebrows are waxed, entire body shaved
He asked to "fluff my boner.."
And people are going to start dressing like that in public, it's just ridiculous, the goths and now the GAGAs
i just threw up in a potted plant at home depot
He smothers me through text. I can't even image what he'd be like in person.
Sometimes to bang a cougar u gotta play wii With her kids
it wasn't THAT bad but he definitely called his dick an asshole and said sorry to my vagina
the head trauma was worth the blowjob.
since you saved your number in my phone as "the hot chick you met last Friday" I don't know who you are either
I created a new solo drinking game. You need a handle, a laptop, and a shitty internet connection. Start watching the fort video in the que, play the snake while the videos constantly load, and take a drink everytime you fuck up. There was a video of a an asain female Justin beiber impersonator full screen when I woke up.
I'm so hungover that if we go to panera, I'll probably get a bread bowl to throw up in.
Actually it's really just going to be me drunk in your living room swinging from a pole on a tuesday morning.
"You're the only girl I haven't made out with yet" = worst pick up line ever
But I’m still curious to know... how did the homemade porno go?
Apologies that our conversations always turn to butt sex or penis size. I thought we out grew that in our 20's.
Randomize
