Since she's grinding up on your thigh right now, I'm sending you this text hoping it makes your phone vibrate in her vagina
why do all the strippers look like they came from fraggle rock
you win again, gameday.
Hello you've reached the get a clue corp. Our business hours are from take a hint to figure it out, eastern standard time. If you prefer to leave a message, don't, call back when you're not crazy, fat, and annoying.
Just found my bra in a bag of chips on the kayak floating about the pond. Sure sign of a good night
Just say its a British thing. They wont know Its not. And if they say you're not British, proposition them for a post-sex game of cricket.
I take back all the times I've said life was unfair. I'm about to have two trained bartenders for a girlfriend and roommate
I blew him while he was standing up and he drooled on my head
I only got lap dances from the ugliest strippers, i couldnt stop myself from laughing the entire time.
So just what does one wear when attending a sex toy party with ones mother-in-law?
Jeans and a nice top.
I love how when they see that I'm upset their initial response is to offer me ecstasy
Christ I forgot how flexible you need to be for a decent sext pic. Jesus.
I would ride that face into the sunset
i'm eating chex mix in the shower while texting. i feel accomplished.
I do not recommend playing football on LSD like at all
Randomize
