Goodnight my chunky, little, marshmallow muncher
Maybe I lied like you did about your herpes.
I don't want to talk about it. He was like the Little Engine that couldn't get me off.
I know you didn't add your TWO random hook ups from the weekend to your FB friends AND change your status to "Good Catholic Girl" on the same day.
He told the cop he was underage, handed the cop his ID, and the police report read "I then informed the suspect that he was not, in fact, underage"
please hold off on going into labor, i might need you to take me to the free clinic
I wasn't sure how he was going to followup "so,i shot myself.." i guess "w a nail gun" is the best choice out of what I expected
omg. i wish i could describe to you the number of things that were just in my vagina. i feel like i got gangbanged by construction workers.
I masterbate to the thought of you. You totally aren't just a booty call.
Can't wait to hear which one of you won the 'fuck a bigger geek' contest last night. Queen Amidala vs Lara Croft. See you at breakfast.
He peed off the roof and then we bonded it was beautiful
I'll pay you back with progressively deviant sexual favors.
I accused the cab driver of smoking weed in the taxi then I remember it was me.
And thanks for putting me in that safety position on the bathroom floor while I was spooning the toilet
what color bed sheets say meditative warrior but also welcome to my sex dungeon...
navy blue
The fact that you have an answer to that is why we are friends...
Randomize
