sooo how much is appropriate to spend on a vibrator? what if it is really legit looking?
At one point during the moaning he reminded me of Forrest Gump
GOOD IDEA: Stealing the bike a couple blocks away so I don't have to walk. BAD IDEA: riding bike for the first time in years drunk as hell. I'm bleeding and my body hurts and once again I can't find my car.
he asked me to eat out his asshole. after five minutes of uncomfortable staring i realized he was serious.
I don't see why you're so upset, it's not like you were wearing pants either.
love being home for thanksgiving just had grandma pick me up from the frat by her house
I think we need to find a happy medium between fried food and dicks. This could end badly.
you went all the way to UK and still managed to hook up with someone from our highschool...
This bowl of cereal would be the size of a giant's bowl-piece. It's. that. big.
How much did you smoke??
Opening beer with my teeth is getting easier the drunker I become.
It turns out my teeth are bleeding.
I just realized, I'm going to be on my period for the end of the world. FUCK.
I most definitely just found a video on my phone that I accidentally took... You can't see anything and all you can hear is me talking about how good your water was... And then I fed it to you... And used the word "eloquent" to describe it.
Jesus Christ that hit just spoke to so many levels of my soul. It's caressing them softly
im watching blue is the warmest color at the music box and this dude is literally masturbating 3 feet in front of me
I can see. My condolences to your vagina.
Randomize
