I've slept with so many tools that you'd think my pussy was Home Depot.
I just watched Jersey Shore so I would know what rock bottom was when I reach it.
like semen in my mouth is absolutely disgusting but i'd still like to experience it
I put so much effort into my vagina today. If i don't get laid tonight I'm gonna be pissed.
just credit carded her and her mom at the same time... that drunk. get on my level
Ya. I was the definition of a shit show. I woke up outside my door when my alarm went off
How did it go last night?
Woke up head half shaved and a burrito? So good and bad?
I just sneezed and it made my entire body ache. Hungover is an understatement
in honor of breaking bad starting soon, i am now banging a walter white lookalike. viva heisenberg!
But in defense of this shit summer we've had, I totally perfected my shotgunning skills. I have achieved my summer goal.
I ate icecream cake off your tits for my birthday, if that's not love I don't know what is.
Being drunk isn't an excuse for eating all of the bacon asshole
I think my pickup truck has been used for the sex... This doesn't sit right with me.
I just bought a handle of tequila and a breakfast burrito. I might be out of money for the weekend, but at least I have the necessities covered.
I collect Covid conspiracy theories like I collect Pokemon.
Randomize
