Maybe she gives good head
A girl who still calls a dick a "wiener"cannot possibly give good head
There's a sucker born every minute but swallowers are harder to find.
So glad I found your sister.
I drank mimosas and played bocce ball in the middle of finals week...now i know how Comm majors feel all the time.
He just called me juicy booty via text message.
Well the good news is my "i'm an adult" dinner party went well, they all brought wine and complimented my cooking abilities. the bad news is i woke up with the leftovers in my bed/on my face
On a separate but also a very relevant note, can we practice drinking wine like real people?
On a scale of 1 to 3, with 1 being the smallest and 3 being the largest, what size nipple pasty do you think I am?
Siri just called me GayBoy in front of my family. I will destroy you.
This Halloween will be different. I'm just here to get shitfaced, not troll around looking for slutty nun pussy.
I would have been the big man on campus...just flop my wang out on the table and how them what they were gonna deal with if they dropped the soap
I'm not taking advice from anyone I've seen passed out naked at noon on the hood of a strangers car. Meaning you.
I cried at the bar for 30 minutes because I got my arm stuck in my sweater. I got free drinks for the rest of the night after the bartender helped me.
He made me choke him and call him Papi..so all in all a good night.
You really need to not quote Anchorman while I'm giving you a serious blowjob.
I did it again.
I drunk texted John McCain.
I just don't understand what you plan on accomplishing there except for losing all vestiges of post-freshman year dignity
Randomize
