it was like the sexual equivalent of when Wilson fell off the raft and floated away
i would totally change schools right now just to be that new girl everyone wants
She said my dick tasted like a junior mint. Ive decided im using this soap the rest of my life
I wonder if he has realized that I have poured all if those shots he bought into the tip jar
She was really fucking loud. My neighbors definetly knew my name...
Absinthe night with my dad again, I could get used to this being home thing.
He brought her home and fucked her in a gingerbread man costume in a cardboard rapunzel castle. He had a pretty good night.
Ok well hopefully you're not staging an intervention for me at your place because I'm bringing beers
Walk of shame: Easter Edition. He is risen.
If you go to Tinseltown tonight. First bathroom on the left, second stall. Avoid. It's still coming to terms with what I did to it.
We may not see eye-to-eye on much, but I'm definitely willing to let you see eye-to-vagina again.
The Easter sex puns were too abundant
I guess daylight savings isn't a holiday we need to celebrate for three days...
Would an open wound count as good sex or bad sex?
Whoever was the bastard/bitch/genius who duct taped my keys to my dick so I wouldn't lose them. I hate you.
Randomize
