I think tequila should come with a little jiminy cricket
I just blew my nose and little bits of weed came out.
josh has a chalupa in his pocket if you're hungry.
i think the beer goggles wore off after hearing the story of her 2nd abortion
Yes, that was ME getting carried out of the club singing 'i believe i can fly'
pregamed for the floor meeting. so stoned. i keep thinking my RA is shrinking.
I mean Grimace is basically just a big piece of purple shit and he is loved way more than the hamburglar just to put it into perspective
You kept showing the cop the bruises on the bottoms of your feet and claiming you were a medical mystery.
I'm all about sex. But even I know there will be a time to retire my junk. And that will be my 40th birthday, or whenever I'm hideous
Literally got mad at him this morning because we didn't have time to have sex for a third time. I think I'm getting greedy.
Dude... I had a dream that I was getting high for the first time. I got to experience my weedginity again. It was glorious.
Tell him you want to lick his face. Didn't work for me but might turn out better for you idk
Why is there a whip in the kitchen?
yes we're having sex but I'm texting you...so what does that tell you?
You know he wants it bad when he starts going door to door for condoms.
Randomize
