Now hope fervently that she'll do it quick and cheap, just the way i like it
she said i have a nice penis, i told her only bob saget and god could judge that.
how is it that boston is so bitchin and the rest of massachusetts sucks so much?
how is it that you still think "bitchin" is an acceptable term anymore?
I sent out a mass text that said "margaritas for Jesus?" and nobody responded, worst Easter ever.
She sat on the stairs and yelled sex positions at us. I don't remember if we went along with it but judging by the beer and condoms I'm thinking yes.
I don't even care that his girlfriend will be there. Us hooking up is a tradition and she will NOT ruin it.
How do I ask where the Jello shot cups are at Walmart without sounding like white trash?
Let's stay in this weekend and play drinking games to the Winter Olympics.
As long as we can drink anytime we see a stray dog, mafia looking Russian or double toilet.
there is a spider sitting on top of my weed like he owns it or some shit
no but seriously tf do i do? i have that spider phobia but i think my lvoe of the weed overpowers it
summer in europe = liver of steel
I accept that challenge.
Sorry about the confusion with the nudes last night that was rude
Dick is the cure to depression. I'm almost positive. And cough syrup.
How did people get blow jobs before text messaging?
Jack and I got in a huge fight at 6am. He fell asleep when I was giving him head so I freaked. We were both black out so I made a memo in my phone reminding me
So I figured it out. There's two types of shitters. Moaners and grunters. And on occasion there's a third. It's the ill fabled grunt moaner.
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