So she puts out... but it wasn't worth it
a very overweight girl in the ER just said she trippped over the invisible wii jump rope and fell
Just saw an old lady vomit in a trash can at the airport. I instinctively called her a pussy. College has ruined us.
this whole plan B standoff thing with her is really starting to make me nervous
Well at least he is okay. If you call the fetal position in my living room floor "okay"...
I have acquired 14 pictures of hard dicks tonight... I was on a mission. Don't even pretend you aren't proud.
Honest opinion...too aggressive to bring the funnel out to the bar? Also just so you know im at the bar. with the funnel.
I deleted his number so I had to go into my old voicemails which are saved through my gmail and search his name... Never underestimate the resourcefulness of a drunk girl on a mission for dick
Just drove by where I lost my sausage gravy virginity
i'm teaching a bunch of people how to grow weed over snapchat. no shame.
I just had sex with the megalodon show on in the background and it was just as magical as it sounds
Is it too early in the day to ask a nipple-related question?
He was like 120 lbs and 20 of that was penis
9 am booty call on your ex's birthday. Fuck yea
I must be pretty memorable. I was walking past this dude and he goes "There's the Scotch Girl." I have ZERO clue who he is, but I'm definitely the Scotch Girl.
Randomize
