I'm home alone watching The Hills seasons, eating pickles and drinking straight rye. I just googled "how to make friends". Probably not the most pro-active solution. Help.
sticking your finger down your throat to make yourself throw up is bulimia, not morning sickness, so no, I don't think you're pregnant.
They past out watching a re-run of the 1984 presidential debate on cspan
the best thing about long term relationship is that the fact that i bothered to shave my legs today counts as a valentines gift
I can't wait for round whatever # we're on tonight.
I've taken a shot every five minutes for the past twenty. His valentines cupcakes are going to be a fucking delicious vodka induced mess. Thinking about putting vodka in this next batch. I'm the best girlfriend.
it's taken me 3 hours to eat this pudding cup. I think I am melting.
I know. I feel like I should be doing mature responsible adult things though. Like getting loans, working 60 hours every week and not eating burritos in bed, ya know?
There should be an open time period where you show each other your goods and it's totally socially acceptable to bail.
I wholeheartedly concur
Is it bad that I've been making new friends through your vagina networking? I don't think so
The picture on Facebook I was just tagged in, with the mask, that is the definition of Carmen, my drunk alter ego
I hate you so much right now. You got us kicked out of my favorite bar because your drunk ass was hogging the Bluetooth jukebox and would play NOTHING but that goddamn skeleton song. IT'S NOT EVEN OCTOBER YET.
Spopky scrzy skeletonssz
If I was a guy I'd keep a condom in my pocket, in my wallet, in my backpack, in my car, in my shoe, behind my fucking ear
I thought you were dead but then you asked me if your tits looked good. They did.
You screamed out "happy birthday Jesus" followed by chugging Bacardi straight out the bottle
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