Goodnight sugar queer
Sugar queer??
Why does my predictive text prioritize 'queer' over 'puffs'?
how was the sex?
he smelled like pickles and burnt hair.
well, there's that.
so i woke up this morning covered in mail. none of it is mine.
i was so worried that when his hands were down my pants he was going to find the weed i stole from him
And "sexual slave/chef" was as it turns out not a real career choice...
She was surprised when she saw all our living room furniture was made from old kegs. It's like she's never met us before...
It's like my butt was the only innocence I had left and now I don't even have that.
By the way if you come home and I'm not wearing pants, just go with it. I didn't have the energy to go searching for some.
Come get your boy. He's cuddling with a bag of rice on the floor.
OHMYGOD I LITERALLY JUST FINISHED JERKING OFF AND MY MOM BUSTS IN AND HANDS ME A BABY WHAT THE FUCK IS GOING ON IN MY HOUSE JESUS H CHRIST!
at one point, i told him to buy you a pumpkin spice latte and uggs because you're a common white girl and that's how he should get you in bed
I just smoked weed with my physics professor. Tell me how my life is this.
One day no one will want to send me dick pics so by all means keep 'em coming
like sometimes I wish I was allergic to latex so I wouldn't have sex with so many people..
I just made the same noise looking at my salami sandwich as I do hooking up with you.
Randomize
