everyone made a circle around them and startd chanting fight fight. they wernt fighting, they were dry humping
you left a note on your car that said " please dont tow, im to drunk to drive. safety first!"
Yeah I'm buying him lunch right now because I shot him with the fire extinguisher last night
It will be a surprise...all i can say is stripper clown
You don't have to believe me. My vagina knows it happened.
He's probably hung over. I sure as hell am. I want to pop out my eyeballs with a fork and soak them in cold water
my dad is now demonstrating how to start a fire with a tampon. happy fucking new year!
So how was the sex with me last night?
No worse than usual.
So I've been in more fights on one leg than I've had on two.
I last recall trying to play piano and asking justin for drugs. I would like to think I then gracefully laid down on the couch and shut my eyes like a sleeping kitten.
A good drinking club with a running problem, improves endurance in both I have observed this evening.
2 for 1 beer results in multiples of 2 so what should be a beer or two becomes 4 or 6. But running, alleviates the need for a DD.
I'm just to the point my give a fucks is so far in the red that I'm going to have to take out a 30yr loan of fucks to repay it
Don't forget to bring $1s for the strippers. Make it rain!!!!
Thanks, mom, will do
Should I give the penis ring toss game to good will or garbage
because nothing says “let’s fucking rage” like getting a compensation letter and some company stock
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