I just tried to put my feet in my slippers and found cans of beer in them. Christmas in fucking july.
you're kinda like the weird girl from The Breakfast Club after the makeover. i mean you're pretty, but you're still weird as fuck
These 3 days between Christmas and new years when all the bosses are on vacation are essentially a competition to see who can do the least amount of work
I don't drink so I see St. Patty's as an LSD type of day. Its like a more hardcore 420
I blacked out after running into my soc TA in the beer garden. came to dancing on the speakers at major lazer and making out with said TA.
and by clear my head i mean get drunk and cry myself into oblivion.
We did it in the bathroom in Taco Bell. We didn't buy anything before we left, which I thought was rude.
Posting happy birthday to my grandpa on Facebook.... Then realizing my profile pic is me dressed as a slutty cop when he used to be a police officer.
Well apparently I decided it was easier I piss in the trash can at waffle house than In the toilet. Would've been ok if the trash can was in the bathroom.
Trying to ignore the fact that a kid I hooked up with twice just gave me spare keys to his house ... and car.
I remember you fighting a small man for the last of the pizza. Was there a midget in my house last night?
this relationship shit is hard. like i'd like to be able to watch veep without him trying to dry hump me. also im drunk and its 11 am so
who is the naked dude on the coffee table
thats jeff, jeff is nice so don't be rude
there is a spider sitting on top of my weed like he owns it or some shit
no but seriously tf do i do? i have that spider phobia but i think my lvoe of the weed overpowers it
She started crying because the Rugrats grew up
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