We should takd a huggy cab to snuggle bunnyville
That girl would be way hotter if she changed her face.
just saw a guy try to order booze in his coffee at 8 am.
A friday night jus isn't the same if the cops don't raid my dorm
my fake id says im a 34 yr old russian lady ... how is this working
My rats are drinking wine. I am drinking with rats. God i am so alone.
There's a wake for a coworker on 420 during te time of 420... Hoping everyone will be too sad to notice how high I am.
On an unrelated side note: I shall now attempt to crawl to the bathroom. Where I will lay motionless on the cold ceramic bathtub with hot water pouring over my shivering body as I desperately try not to vomit. Good day.
Maybe we could get a groupon for vasectomy. I'm game.
Haha. I got you. I always pay you back somehow. Do you accept all major forms of payment: cash, taco bell, and patriotic underwear?
I just face planted on a condom wrapper in my bed...thought of you.
You're so romantic.
Pretty sure the guy at the Halloween party dressed as an ice cream man is working his way through the building without a care for gender or age. He high-fives me on his way out each morning.
Remembering you have vodka in the freezer gives the same surge of happiness as finding 20 bucks in a coat pocket.
Or is it distressingly heterosexual?
I just had a legitimate orgy. Wearing glowsticks.
Randomize
