i wish there were pregnant emoticons
out of nowhere you said let us see your boobs, then proceeded to pull my shirt down.
i gets down
What did you even date her?
because emotionally unstable girls are great in bed.
you know that annoying kid in my psych class? accidentally hit him in the face with a door today. perfect end to the semester.
I was drunk at peters. now im drunk at my apartment. and hungry. but mcdonalds is broken. wtf
Are you being sarcastic? I can't tell this time because you're in the hospital.
Stop inviting me to your birth control calender reminders...my job is to test its effectiveness, not know its schedule
Lmao sorry
We had to leave. Dave knocked a dude out for saying yolo.
Male strippers are involved. You are coming
No he can't help me find his house he is strapped to a stretcher facing the opposite direction
Well... I got her number now... I think she is a dish best served drunk
Dry heaving on campus is my new low. Also, go pats
Nothing warms my heart more than the sight of a naked hockey player in my bed.
I don't remember anything but bad decisions last night
I think every girl deserves a pregnancy scare. Because then it just feels like such a priviledge to be bleeding out of the vagina.
I legit just did a jig towards my box of tampons.
Randomize
