I just want to get to the point in our relationship where I can get on top of her and fart and we can both laugh...not just me.
God, you're like boner-b-gone
im eating kix cereal and taking shots by myself. please come hang out with me. im desperate
She just pulled out a chicken strip and a hundred dollar bill from her purse. This is a legit twentyfirst bday weekend.
I fingered her though her window because she couldn't leave
Court can wait. right now you and your magic penis need to be here satisfying me.
You sternly pointed at him and declared that you would ride his cock until the early dawn.
Then, you ate a turkey sub, went into his room
it is a dangerous dangerous place where morals and dignity go to die and all your fantasies about men become reality.
Literally had to stick my hands in my pants and hold my butt cheeks together while driving
So many weird people in this class. I can practically taste their unwanted virginities. They taste bad.
Pretty much just farted directly in a baby's mouth on the subway
Why'd you print out every dick pic you've ever received and tape them to the bathroom walls?
I made a booty call at 3:30 am on a Monday... I think I just became the ultimate female fuckboy. I don't know whether to be ashamed or get myself a trophy.
My lash glue is stronger than my sense of self respect
I wish I had a tail.
Why?
...why not?
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