Please dont use Danity Kane lyrics to describe your emotions.
we've started having sober sex
you really do like him
I was just referred to as 'the margarita slut' by an 11 year old.
in light of our recent drunken behavior, i think it's time we seriously consider hiring ourselves a babysitter.
She gave him a lap dance on the glass table. You can guess how that ended
IS SOBER OCTOBER A THING?? WTF WHO ARE THESE PEOPLE?
Think of all the island guys I could have. Ah well.
You can not bait me into a "how Stella got her groove back" call and response.
Last night you snap chatted some chick a pic of bottle service with the caption "send tits"
Ew. He is mine. We all know that if he has a mid-life crisis and decides to sleep with a student, I AM THAT STUDENT. She's not friends with him on FB. Reassuring.
I just want to drink cheap wine and throw my bra at an aging singer songwriter
Yes. I am out of condoms. I kept filling them with glow paint and playing with them when I was on mushrooms, which resulted in me having unprotected sex last weekend
Do not try to steal a picnic table from a park, all you will end up with are sore arms and broken dreams.
The fact that I bookended my summer with pregnancy scares doesn't upset me. The fact that he's a trombone major does...
I'm trying to watch Chicago PD and tell you I like your dick at the same time. It's a lot of work, ok?
my personal favorite... An "I'm sorry you broke your finger and cant play sports for awhile" blowjob!
Randomize
