you kept begging me not to tell anyone you had been a bat in another life
No vaginas are yucky and I don't think you're old enough to handle one yet
Yeah. We was talkin. Its ok. My bed is too filled with pam for sex. Its like a slip and slide of butter product.
what is the aproppriate waiting time between having sex and playing super Mario brothers
6 min
Quiet hours sex sucks. I hate finals.
what part of “beer fountain” do you not understand
just so you know, you can get through airport security with handcuffs no questions asked
I have so much boob sweat I could bathe a baby
Trust me man, I did not put any cookies down your pants when you slept.
I'm pretty sure this city writes new vice laws specifically because of us.
It wasn't a basement apartment, it's his parents basement. And he wanted to show me his pet tarantula collection. I NOPED THE FUCK OUT!
It's okay, big boobs are better than running.
I should be in a better mood, I just went home and had a quickie on my lunch break.
I had a sandwich.
I think I won an award for shitting and vomiting at the same time.
His butt is perfect. Like a twelve on a scale of one to ten. No idea about his personality or anything but that ass... I'm keeping him.
Randomize
