Mind blown. Apparently, it's PRErogative, not PERogative. I blame Bobby Brown.
I then asked the hardee's employee: mam, do you mind if i pay 75 cents in cash and then put the 1.13 on my debit card.
I just washed champagne and tuna off my body. I feel like that was a successful shower.
Dude, she told me she wanted to bang my dad. I don't know which is worse, the fact that she wants to or the fact that she told me.
It was tug of war between me and the cop. He wanted the beer, I wanted the coozie.
Going to the hospital for stitches on my balls. Mom walked in on me manscaping with an electric razor. Tell NOBODY.
you have failed as an in class drinking partner.
I told him that his face would look perfect between my legs. One of my most successful strategies yet.
Jesus, I just want to drink. Also simultaneously punch things and rub my vagina on them.
Well, I watched a girl proposition a shit ton of people, try to take a cocktail waitresses job and then proceed to walk into a wall. Damn, I'm a little jealous.
I hopped in a random dudes car outside the strip club at 3pm on a Sunday and said "Follow that car!"
Oh my god there's only so much masturbating one can do before one wants to fucking cry
Hey I'm sorry for head butting you last night. Personally I thought it was funny at the time, but I can see how from your perspective it may not have been as enjoyable for you... Hope your lip is okay.
And thanks for putting me in that safety position on the bathroom floor while I was spooning the toilet
welp,tonight ive reached new levels. by new levels I mean,i showed some guys my boobs for water. on your tab.. the most pointless thing ive ever done. either we should hang out way more,or never again.
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