You know you're wathing too much reality TV when you start adding commentary to every day life.
At barnes & noble, drinking beer out of thermoses, lookin legit.
Eventually evolution will just give us a better liver anyway, so our great great grandkids should THANK us for our binge drinking.
All you kept saying was "my dick ALWAYS causes problems".
I think this baby is eyeing my beer
still in the ER. she tried to shotgun a bottle of corona
Please find an outlet that isn't stripping or getting drunk and arrested
I'm sitting at my desk looking through our payroll system photos to find my next boyfriend. Abuse of power or awesome?
I need to stop drinking and eating and start working out. I look like the lovechild of John Goodman and Jabba the Hutt.
Kyle's mobile fuck service..... Kinda has a nice ring to it don't you think??
I woke up in my living room, on the floor, wearing nothing but a fur coat?
So my quick shower turned into a "lay in the shower and let the hot water reign over you because you are too hungover to wash your hair" shower. I'll be there closer to 1:30!
Why are there so many fucking Lambchop puppets hidden around my house?!
fuck that its my house. if i want to take 1 bite out of the chicken & leave the rest i fucking will. suck my dick
still drunk.please come get me.he kicked me out because i couldn't stop laughing about passing out in the middle of taking his virginity.
Randomize
