im letting my talent of no gag reflex go to waste
I'm sorry for what I said earlier...your vagina wouldn't look funny If you had a kid.
Semen is not good for contacts.
HOLY FUCK COMFIEST CHAIR EVER
What time do you think you'll be heterosexual?
I get a nose bleed and my uncle is automatically giving me the "your doing lines off dashboards again aren't you" look
Btw. U, me, male strippers, beer. Gonna happen. We could totally get TNT from like u know TNT places
WTF DUDE?
Stay calm. I'm sure there's a heterosexual explanation for this
With everyone putting up pictures of their moms on Facebook it's time to go single MILF hunting.
I've covered myself in body paint in the likeness of R2D2 and I still didn't get laid. Please explain.
Hey every now and then can you tell me you want to fuck me to boost my confidence? Thanks.
Oh my God it's like my cock was dipped in lava
I'm so sorry for trying to eat your puzzle last night...
I prefer to think of hangovers as extreme sobriety, which can only be cured by more booze
He just kept going down on me. And he was all like, do you mind? No motha fucka, who would? All of his ex's, apparently. Whatever, he's a gem and I'm keeping him.
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