come over anyways, right now, right this second
it can be a super quick quicky, then you can go back to studying
wow, that sounds SO fun, please stop enticing me with premature ejaculation
Everytime she opens her mouth it's like a fucking terrorist attack on my life.
Bridesmaid dress fitting. I look like a Weeble and Michelle looks like Malibu Barbie. I have to keep reminding myself that she has herpes so really, the playing field is more level than it might initially seem.
I just showed my boobs to our astate representative hahahahahahha
you started putting condoms on anything with a point, then you were yelling at the lamp for using your last condom...
I almost caused an explosion; It's okay though. because everyone would have died having a good time.
How drunk are u on a scale of one to couldn't get it up if u had a gun at ur head?
Still want to know how you got back last night? Two Campus Security Officers carried you in around 430. Your pants were around your ankles.
I hate Sailor Jerry.
its kind of scaring me that i am turned on by tom cruise in rock of ages
If my bootycall doesn't bring over a Baconnator, I swear to fucking God, I'm not letting him in. The hunger is that real. Forget his Persian dick.
He slapped my ass... He best ask me out. Or figure out how to unslap my ass.
You both snapchatted me that. Like, I just got a double dose of penis pastry.
VASECTOMY FOR THE WIN
You were laying on the floor coloring a "get well soon' card for your liver...
I picked up a towel, and butt beads fell out of it.
Oh yeah... Surprise!
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