Yeah, you spent an hour in front of the mirror trying to reenact the Sailor Moon theme song.
hows the party?
ists fjcssing insceredle
be there in 10
I left my toothbrush at her house. This is getting way too serious for me.
I'm not sure if what i'm hearing downstairs is sex or not, but if it is, it sounds like there's a dog involved...i'm mildly concerned.
Just saw a bouncer shoot a stripper with a squirt gun. He looked at me n said,"gotta keep em in check." I'm in love with this place
you were fixing your hair in the bathroom mirror and then fell backwards through the locked stall while she was in mid pee and fell on her lap.
You offered me some of your "Jungle Juice." It was just 151 and Absinthe. I don't know how you are still alive.
The ketchup exploded, and totally splooged his face and the wall. You could see the outline of his head in the wall splatter.
But I did spend part of my morning scrubbing your cum off my grandmothers piano.
Ever wonder what all the drugs you've ever done would look like put together?
Heaven. . It would look like heaven
I have banged to "The Emperor's New Groove" way more than could possibly be reasonable.
He can kiss the multicultural 3 some goodbye
I would literally only have sex with a dinosaur right now.
No no no, work drunk and day drunk are totally different. I got drunk with a client and made a huge sale at 1pm. You are still in your PJs and jacking off.
I love how fuckboys immediately become cultured when I tell them I’m an artist.
Randomize
