Well i threw up in my mouth a few times. But i successfully swallowed it. Still going strong.
oh my she just said cum sticks to her dentures so when she blows if they let her she takes them out
No better way to find a friend than to offer cyber sex and see what happens
I just named my vagina "The Boneyard"
More like "Chia Pet"
That sucks. I just talked to a telemarketer for 15 minutes about CSI: Miami and weed.
okay. so this hammed chick got arrested and she keeps trying to make out with the cop. i like her style.
quit making up holidays to get me to go drinking with you
Jesus told me in my dream not to go to the party. I am athiest for tonight PARTY ON
She thinks I'm afraid I'm gonna get caught in one of my lies and some of the girls I'm fucking will find out about each other. But it would be a relief to offload a few from the old crop and work in a few newbies into the rotation. The organization could use some new blood.
Is it normal that every guy I hook up with tells me my hair is sexy as it's happening? Like that can't be normal
I tried to walk home in my heels. And I fell into a snow bank. And then I cried and a policeman came up to me and said I can't sit in a snowbank and got me a cab. So maybe that's where I left my credit card. I remember the cop asking me if I was old enough to drink, too. OMG. How embarrassing. Pretty sure I told him to "leave me alone."
Ok, in complete transparency, I am eating a cookie on my bed naked while reading a Halo novel.
Congrats. You made me have an orgasm in Starbucks.
I accidentally mass texted his dick pic. Not only to my friends, but to my dad as well...
Vegas never ceases to amaze me. Hung out with a stripper from ATL all night and got nuthin, but the next night meet a bride-to-be who gives me a bj in the elevator.
Randomize
