The guy asked if i had a problem w/set schedules
well that one time I was being a total idiot trying to see how much I could drink. turns out 22 shots is too much. surprise surprise! ambulance party!
just smoked a blunt while listening to nsync. i now know what my childhood was missing.
Why do I always give away anal sex as birthday presents?
Shut up... one mans birthday cake is another mans sodomy my friend
surprisingly enough, it isn't that uncomfortable to have sex with a heart monitor on
we used the bottom of a tampon for coke since no one had a 20 on them. My life has resisted to this.
That's the point of day drinking, get fucked up by 6pm so you can get stuff done the next day. It's the adult thing to do.
You passed out while holding my hair during a blow job.. i think your gona have to earn back blow jobs
I started scrolling back in our texts looking for context and a picture of your dick rose like the Great Pumpkin in the middle of my screen.
wanna mail me your GoPro for St.Patties and I'll mail it back to you coverend in puke?
the problem is i have six tabs of acid in my freezer and no self control
There was a comma in between her and dick. I was calling you a dick. Jesus.
I'm in his bed. I got up to puke. Im one eyeing it eating a hot dog bun. Wtf. This is my life
I fucked his roommate. And that roommate's best friend. And my roommate. And my roommate's old roommate.
i'm bowing down, but slow your roll.
What's the weirdest place you've ever had sex?
I don't think you're psychologically prepared for this conversation.
Randomize
