They threw a beer at you on stage and then you stopped the karaoke and cussed everyone in the bar out for 2 minutes
Girls behind me in the library are trying to outslut each other with stories from last semester. I'm about to set my cock on the table between them and label it "tie breaker"
hey did I tally my arm again of # of shots?
nope, you were tallying rejections at the party
I need to keep friends like you around just in case hell grades on a curve.
We're having the conversation about what happened last night, all we can come up with is that we came home, drank two litres of lemonade, I took one of her seizure pills and we fell asleep with sabrina the teenage witch on
There needs to be waaaay more alcohol in my apartment if I am going to survive being unemployed
I've reached the slutty point of no return. And it feels like multiple orgasms and coke lines
who has not yet felt my sugrcially enhanced boobs. HurryI am at the bnar and it is 1:15 am
and if my full six pack comes in by Halloween there is no stopping the man slut costume. I have no shame
I'm driving while wearing hulk hands
If you were awake I would probably ride my bike over, fuck you like a god, leave you in the wonders of life, and bike home
Did we seriously steal a wet floor sign from McDonald's then get chased down by a homeless man for it? Never drinking again.
I started carrying sissors in my purse to open plan B with. Both ashamed and proud.
I did just chug a pint glass of wine during a solid round of masterbation, so I believe I am ready for bingo.
So some guy thought I took second place in a male stripper competition
Randomize
