is it bad that i kinda- ok, reallyyy don't remember having sex with him last night?
Megan Fox is the only woman I would let pee on me.
I'm similar. She's the only woman I'd ask to pee on me.
Ok yeah you're right. I'd ASK Megan Fox to pee on me. I'd ALLOW Erin Andrews to pee on me if she asked.
This smoking ban is really fucking with my ability to fart in public
i walked in on him listening to enya, jacking off, and vomiting into a cup on his desk. are you serious.
no. you're not making a beach trip out of my abortion.
Thanksgiving. This year's theme: I am thankful that I still have a liver.
She refuses to believe she pulled down her pants and spanked her ass in front of us
the 5 D's of Dodgeball literally just saved my life
Your children are clinging to me like my teets are full of bountiful milkiness. They're driving me nuts. I felt my uterus shrivel up.
YOU KNOW BRAZILIAN BOYS ARE MY WEAKNESS
She only fucks to metal. I don't know whether to marry her or run for the hills.
It is officially settled in my mind that fuck the hot grad student is THE goal this year
I'm at 45 minutes post orgasm, and I still feel my insides spasming. Pretty sure I just fucked Superman.
Would you be opposed to me keeping a live lobster in the shower for a bit?
Woke up with a glow stick in my boobs this morning. Must've dominated Sunday.
Randomize
