Is it normal to miss your booty call?
My boss' voice literally gives me gas
How young is too young to ask my kid to make me a drink?
its official now. im not pissing on secret service cars with a senators inside anymore.
there was a party in your bed and you weren't invited... change your sheets
a girl walking in front of me just packed her cigarettes 72 times and yes i counted
how much adderall did you take today?
I'm pretty sure we put the facepaint on during whippets
Just had a thought: were the sirens on when we were in the ambulance?
Driving around Panama at 7 am looking for an open liquor store..
They're putting plan B in vending machines now. My life just got so much easier.
It's a drunk scavenger hunt.
Everything on the list counts for double points if done naked.
I want to be your penis for a week.
He literally named all the parts of the vagina as he fingered me. No more pre-med virgins.
I'm going to have to go for it. It's like Mt. Everest. It's large and unpredictable but I live for adventure and it's worth never coming back from. Mt. BigDick.
I can't believe my vagina just got wished happy new year
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