When we talk. Remind me of these topics, photoshop, my bday, threesomes, and cherekee indians. I swear these are real topics...
New topics to add when we talk, sweden, boxing, and the band journey
I just cut my nipple shaving
I just got invited to go home with a married couple...
Holy fuck. She looks like Vin Diesel's stuntman
I'm playing wingman, but I want to pull a Goose and die.
Smoked a joint and chugged some pepto. Feeling a lil better... Not sure which is working..... Gonna keep doing both.....
I don't believe u have enough text space to describe the dimensions of his penis.
I have 39 hot sauces from Chipotle
It's like earning obesity badges
Might I also add after my boss threw up in the garbage can and yelled puking rally, he dougied, then told me I wasn't about that life.
If we can put a man on the moon, I'm sure we can turn a pringles can into a bong.
literally just tried sending to someone a video of me jerkin but my phone was connected to Apple TV and it literally just played on the tv in a full room and I'm actually about to shit myself
this is a preemptive text before you call me freaking out: i have your keys and your car is parked safely a block down from your apartment.
you are a goddess
Yesterday we were fuck buddies and today I'm meeting his mom. That escalated quickly.
You shouldn't play strip poker when you're having a wet fart kind of day.
What the fuck i just wanna eat my froot loops and sext in peace. Y'all motherfuckers gotta be loud as shit and break my concentration
Randomize
