Three 40's of Mickeys, is no excuse to be naked at Baskin Robins.
The best time of year to be high is WHEN THE KING CAKES ARE HALF OFF BECAUSE MARDI GRAS IS OVER YEEEEEEEEEEEEAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHH
so i had sex last night with my 12th partner, but hes number 1 for my first time using a condom. i think im finally learning.
I don't remember much but I know I looked hot.
I'm going to start telling people I'm a sophomore so they stop asking me about college and what I want to do with my life
He came over while I was in the ER and hung pictures of himself around my house.
The woman at the bus stop told me i smell delicious and asked if i wear cotton then proceeded to tell me about her shellfish allergy
I seriously think my heart may fail. And I didn't even grab a toilet beer :(
please don't fuck her on my bed i'm too poor for laundry quarters
Just watched my entire extended family eat salad out of the bowl i threw up in last night.
This is what happens when you leave: I get all vulnerable and I make out with the cowboy to shut him up about Jesus.
We fired a shoe out of a medieval cannon. I know not where we got either one.
After sex he brought chocolates and said he loves RuPaul's Drag Race. How many points does he score for that?
I am luring the porn star to my house with chicken!
He sent me a website link to GIF on Snapchat. I don’t think he understands how Social Media works.
Randomize
